monkey stuck in the middle.

For the past couple of months, I've been really confused as to what exactly is causing me to feel so unsatisfied and distant to the world around me. I am slowly realizing that there is a much larger reason behind it than I ever anticipated. Metaphorically speaking, I am the monkey in the middle of two opposing sides who are throwing around the ball, in this case a much more abstract object. On one side is my teenager habits, thoughts and tendencies. This side is struggling to hold on to dear life, trying its hardest to demonstrate all the great adventure it has yet to unveil. On the other side, is my adulthood who is barely pulling a lead, showing me, the monkey, that it is the stronger and more experienced competitor. This invisible ball is something that I am trying so hard to grasp, as it will change the course of my life. I have a couple of predictions as to what it might be, could be. But, thinking too much into it won't do me any good. All I know is right now, being in the middle sucks, when you feel like you're stuck there.